8 Telltale Signs That the Woman You’re With is Definitely Mrs. Right
With additions by Ashley Keegan
It’s a common predicament: you’ve been in a relationship a little while and things are going well, but you’re not 100-percent sure whether the two of you are destined to be together forever. Given that there are billions of other women in the world (and a billion dating apps to help you easily connect with any number of them), how do you know that your current partner is the one you want to lock things down with for good?
Fortunately, there are a lot of signs that can help you figure out if she’s the one for you. That is, as long as you’re paying close attention and you know what to look for, of course. That’s why we’re helping you out with this compilation of eight of the best signs that she’s the one. Though it can be really difficult to know for certain whether your relationship will last the distance, the two of you you just might have what it takes if you can relate to all, or at least a few, of these telltale signs.
Signs That Your Girlfriend Is Really, Truly the One for You
1. You Introduce Her to Everyone
There comes a certain point in a relationship where you need to decide whether you’ll introduce your girlfriend to your friends and family. A certain level of intermingling of your worlds is inevitable even in fairly casual relationships — it’s not a huge deal for a partner you’re not certain about to have met some of your friends, for example — but meeting family, and in particular your parents, is usually a sign you’re looking to take things to the next level. Your nearest and dearest know you best and sometimes have an even clearer picture of who is best for you than you do.
“You talk about her often, you think about her all the time, and you want to share with everyone that you’ve met someone special,” says Dr. Gilda Carle, relationship expert and author of 8 Tips to Understand the Opposite Sex.
Even if you’re lying to yourself about your relationship’s prospects, your closest friends and family usually won’t, which is why the big introduction can be a significant step towards determining whether your girlfriend is the one.
2. You’re Planning a Future With Her
One obvious sign that you’re onto a winner is if you find yourself constantly daydreaming about a future together with your girlfriend. If the idea of getting married, having kids, buying a house or embarking on a long-term project together fills you with joy rather than dread, you should take that as a sign that your relationship has the potential to last the ages.
This could manifest in big or small ways, according to Dr. Gilda. Maybe you’ve just been invited to a wedding, for example, and you wonder “How would it be to go with her?” Or, maybe you begin to wonder what it would be like if the two of you were the ones getting married instead.
If you’re not sure whether your girlfriend is the one, imagine taking on a serious commitment that will bind you together for at least the next five to 10 years. How does that make you feel? Listen to your gut: your body will let you know whether things are right or wrong.
3. You Still Find Her Attractive
It’s easy to find your partner attractive when you first start dating. Hormones are flying, the relationship is full of novelty, and you’re yet to discover your partner’s most grating bathroom habits. But this rush of initial attraction will inevitably fade if you don’t have enough basic compatibility to keep each other interested — intellectually, emotionally and sexually.
It’s true that attraction can take so many different forms, from looks to personality to strength of character. Dan Collins, a former weekly relationship columnist with twenty years of his own experience wading around the dating pool, shared with us a story about the first time his girlfriend visited his home, and he was surprised by the one seemingly simple act that really drove his attraction toward her.
“She came to see me in my condo and asked to use the restroom,” he says about his now-wife, Tina. “I noted the guest bathroom down the hall, forgetting that that one had a rather finicky toilet.”
He expected Tina to emerge and tell him that something was wrong with the toilet, just like other guests had on visits before. But she was different — and impressively so — walking out of the bathroom with this simple, matter-of-fact declaration: “There was something wrong with your toilet, so I fixed it.”
“Here’s a woman who sees a problem and rather just announcing it, takes initiative to correct it,” Dan says. “That told me a lot about her.”
This is just one example of how attraction can manifest itself in different, and sometimes very unexpected ways. And it’s proof that once you’ve established a baseline physical attraction, personality and character are what keeps you wanting to remain physically intimate. So if you’ve found someone who keeps you engaged on every level, that’s a sure sign you’re on to a keeper.
4. She Makes You Laugh
If you’re going to be with your partner for a long duration, you’re going to need to be able to endure life’s hardships together. Life is not always smooth sailing, and neither are relationships, so being able to weather the down times with a sense of humor is a must. Of course, it’s not all doom and gloom, and a sense of humor also makes life’s high points even more blissful. Either way, being able to laugh together is crucially important, so if you’ve found someone who can make you see the lighter side of life, hold on to her.
5. You Still Love Talking to Each Other
Life gets pretty boring if you can’t occasionally chew the fat until dawn with someone you really care about, and who better to do that with than your live-in, long-term partner? If you and your current girlfriend can’t sustain a conversation about topics deeper than today’s weather for longer than 20 minutes at a time, you probably haven’t found your soulmate. Conversely, if the hours fly by unnoticed while you’re shooting the breeze on the subjects dearest to your heart, you should definitely be locking it down with this one.
6. You’d Rather Hang Out With Her Than Anyone Else
Your partner should be one of your favorite people to hang out with, point blank. Even if the relationship is past the point where you are giddy at the idea of seeing each other, you should still actively look forward to being around your partner — if she’s the one you will marry, that is.
If it feels like a chore to be around her or you’re constantly bickering about minor, insignificant matters, that may be a sign you’re better off spending your time with somebody else. But, if you still get butterflies at the thought of seeing your significant other even after you’ve been together a while, you have found something really special.
7. You Have Compatible Values
While there’s no need to be 100-percent aligned on every issue, you and your girlfriend should be in basic agreement about your core values. If you have fundamental disagreements about politics, religion or your principles, it may cause rifts in your relationship that will be difficult to overcome through the usual methods that can fix more minor relationship grievances; communication and compromise.
“She wasn’t intimidating, or all about herself,” says Dan about his wife, Tina. “And, as it became clear as I learned of the many years she’d spent caring for her parents while dealing with an illness of her own, [she is] a woman of great strength and courage.”
No one can expect you to completely overhaul your moral code to better fit into their lives, and you shouldn’t be asking that of anyone, either, so make sure that you’re on the same page to begin with. If you and your girlfriend tend to stand for the same things, that’s a good sign your relationship will last the distance.
8. You Want the Same Things in Life
Even if all other factors in your relationship are pointing towards long-term compatibility, you need to want roughly the same things out of life for the relationship to last. Is she certain she doesn’t want children, while you want nothing more than to raise an entire soccer team? Does she have her heart set on big city life, while you see yourself settling down on a farm? If you have major differences in terms of your set-in-stone plans, you’re going to have to call the relationship a day at some point or else make some pretty significant compromises.
“Get to know her likes and dislikes,” suggests Dr. Gilda. “Whether she’s a morning or evening person, what she likes to eat and drink, whether your workout interests jive, which of your activities intersect, how much alone time each of you needs … and anything else off the beaten path.”
If you don’t mind changing your mind on the big issues, or if you’ve found someone who has more or less the same life plan as you do, that’s another solid sign that you’ve landed the one.
“However, never commit your heart until you’ve seen this love interest during crisis,” cautions Dr. Gilda. “The way she behaves during times of crisis will tell you whether she’s been real with you all along, and how she copes when life dishes disappointments. That is a crucial test for anyone’s love.”
By now, you should be feeling a little bit clearer in your mind now about whether your girlfriend is the person you’re going to be with for good, even if there was some confusion before. At the end of the day, you have to go with your own gut feeling, but if all or most of the above eight signs are present, our money’s on her being the one.